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| "Microsoft Visual C++ has been sucessfully uninstalled. It is recommended that you restart your machine to remove a temporary file that was created during uninstallation." – Microsoft ... 'nuf said. |
| "I must be a psycho. I knew what he was going to say." – Laine Baker |
| "...I moved to Kansas because of the really bad ragweed." – Justin Dean ... We all knew what he meant. |
| "There's always an airhole." – Angie Franson ... I forget the context, but holes and discussions about them are generally funny. |
| "Until you know how Ambien will affect you, you shouldn't drive or operate heavy machinery." – Commercial for Ambien ... I'm finding it hard getting around without being able to drive. Maybe I should find out how Ambien will affect me. |
| "It's not the religious right; it's the government." – Justin Dean ... Forgetting for a moment that there's no real separation between the two. |
| "What happens when I go from an integer to a float? I do the best I can." – Steve Hansen, Java instructor |
| "I can't hear you when you've got ice running." – Mary Lee |
| "It's 66.6 degrees out there. That's the temperature of the beast." – Me |
| "That's a bunch of crock!" – Abby ... Complaining about one thing or another. |
| "Alright. I guess I'll get up in the morning." – Abby ... Demonstrating her belief in free will. |
| "It's such a possibility that it might happen." – Mary Lee ... Just one of the many stupid things she says and then claims that it's my fault that she says things like that. |
| "I don't like it melty; I like it hard." – Mary Lee ... About ice cream, of course. What were you thinking? |
| "Do you even have a head to screw on?" – Ian ... In a snappy comeback to something Tori wittily said. |
| "Emeralds are good. We both have green eyes and maybe I can borrow hers." – Macy's radio spot ... Heard 'round Mother's Day in L.A. |
| "Man, that kicks your eyes right in the balls." – Sean Holder ... When meeting a car with its bright lights on while cresting a hill in the road. (thanks to Ron Holder) |
| "For sale: Bear Kodiak Magnum compound bow. 30" draw, 60# peak weight, don't want to part with, but my arms aren't long enough to enjoy." – Trading Post, July 19, 2001 |
| "For truth-decay read the Bible" – Church sign in Centropolis, Kansas |
| "Sit down and play and shut up. I need something to drink. I'm hot." – Mary Lee ... Demonstrating that it is possible to say everything you think. |
| "I wouldn't get up this early to go to my own funeral!" – Dave Vinyard |
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