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| "Well who won the women's World Cup in soccer this year?" – Tori ... Citing an example of female superiority in sport... |
| "Yeah, but I bet they were all men who had sex exchanges." – Ian ... In a debate with Tori over which is the dominant sex. He was replying to Tori's assertion that women were better, because it was a team of women who'd won the women's world cup in soccer. |
| "I wish you the best funeral, ever." – Howard, one of the residents in the dementia ward at Vintage Place |
| "All the world's a comedian..." – Mary Lee |
| "It'll be a walk in the cake!" – Sally Hesse ... Confusing a metaphor or two. |
| "First I deleted it, then when I tried to open it the database said it doesn't exist. What caused that error?" – Lockheed Martin Technical Writer |
| "Daddy, you can't spank me anymore. I'll call the IRS!" – Melissa, 13 year old daughter of a friend |
| "Yeah, we've got one. It's in the uh, in the uh... Yeah, we've got one." – Dad ... Upon being asked if he knew whether a corkscrew was to be found, while he was absorbed by television. |
| "Did you find a corkscrew?" – Dad ... Several minutes after being handed a glass of wine and having taken several sips. |
| "Dumber people than you have done it." – Dad ... We were talking about me working for the city with computer consulting. |
| "I know I bet what it is." – Mom |
| "Do you want me to sit by the window or do you want in the middle?" – Mom ... Was giving Tori an option for back-seat seating. |
| "What the heck in the hell are we doing here?" – Schuyler Joseph Taylor, age four ... Wondering where they were stopping when they came to visit us. |
| "... do up some reading on it..." – Chris Rizzo, Oracle training facilitator ... He said some other funny things, too. He used the phrase, "I was all..." a lot. Like "I was all thinking we could..." |
| "... find one information..." – Chris Rizzo, Oracle training facilitator |
| "This is a way of trickin' SQL into doin' somethin' for ya." – Chris Rizzo, Oracle training facilitator |
| "That probably won't be the first one we'll see." – Jeremy Keeler ... Upon seeing the first chipmunk on a walk in the mountains. |
| "Not very much kids at all have." – Tori ... Mitigating something or other that she had neglected to do. |
| "If it's not called upon, it's there." – Mike Simpson, CFO of OmniMark ... During a conference call, describing OmniMark support. This assessment is pretty much right on, sadly. |
| "This thing doesn't have to work as long as people think it works." – Karen Hellekson ... On AllenEdit, an ill-conceived and ill-fated software application. All the wisdom of another Doctor-On-Paper. |
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