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| "Can any of you tell me the names of ALL the Liberians? My kids wanted to give them 'Thank You' notes and a small gift for Christmas. We don't want to leave anyone out." – Friend of the Library ... I think she meant "librarian." But who knows. Perhaps the Liberians could use a little pick-me-up this time of year. (thanks to ML) |
| "Are you sure you don't want any wrapping paper? Because I don't have any." – Mom |
| "We just got two more studs to get off and we can call it a day." – Guy on HGTV's "Weekend Warriors" ... Redoing a laundry room. Not working in a brothel. |
| "Talking monkeys." – Desmond ... He'd asked ML if she knew of anything that there was zero of in the world. When she asked him if he knew of anything, that's what he came up with. |
| "I'm really sorry to hear that, but I'm thirsty." – Desmond ... It was eleven o'clock, and his third foray into the kitchen for a drink. I'd just told him I was getting very upset with him. It was hard not to laugh when he said it. |
| "Colleges look at soccer and extra-curricular activities more than failing grades in chemistry." – Tori ... She's crafted a plan to drop chemistry because she's making a bad grade, and this is going to free her up to play soccer. See Hearsay #1. |
| "When I die, maybe my gravestone can be by yours so we can play together without any chores." – Desmond |
| "I don't want my face walking into a spider web." – ML |
| "What, the moon?" – ML ... We were watching lightning on the horizon, and she observed that the moon was almost full. I was still commenting on the lightning and wondered out loud if it was coming this way... |
| "Up north." – Desmond ... Des had described (yet another) scenario of what he would do to a kidnapper, and ML asked him where he gets these ideas... he pointed to his head and said... |
| "I'm not using my mind for you!" – Jessica Holder ... Her mom had gotten exasperated with her and implored her to "use her head." (thanks to Ron Holder) |
| "Skeletons can't fart because they're dead." – Desmond |
| "The only time I get up early is on trips like this. My eyes open and the sun is up and I have to go outside, look at a paper and smoke coffee." – Jeremy |
| "Vegetables, beans and corn flakes." – Desmond ... We were talking about sharks swimming while they sleep, and we weren't sure about whether they eat while they sleep. I told him I'd like to be able to eat while I slept so I wouldn't have to stop to eat. Told him I'd eat cake all night long. He said he'd eat... well, you already read that part. |
| "My little kid skin is coming off so I can be a big kid." – Desmond ... He had skinned his knee a bit and some skin was peeling. |
| "But I don't have a flash." – ML ... I took some pretty groovy pictures of the moon with my long lens and tripod. I told her we could probably get pics with her film camera and her long lens... She doth protest too much. |
| "Looks more like a machine than an orgasm." – Dad ... He and Jeremy and I were outside of Old Chicago looking at one of those cool iridescent green beetles. We knew what he meant... even if he didn't. |
| "I'm having problems with 'incontinence' today." – Jan ... She was having difficulty spelling a couple words, and that was one of the culprits. (thanks to Mom) |
| "It is stressful enough having sex with strangers." – Jan ... When asked if she worries about sexually transmitted diseases. (thanks to mom) |
| "Oh, my skull! My beautiful skull!" – Desmond ... He had hit his knee. |
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