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| "I covered my mouth!" – Desmond ... He said this as a dispute to my "bless you" when he sneezed. |
| "She's not just blowing shit up your ass." – ML ... She was reassuring me of the sincerity of something someone said. |
| "I'll bend over all day for 2 cents." – Jerry Baker ... He was picking up pennies in a parking lot. (thanks to Ty Unruh) |
| "The difference between contractors and consultants is consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company." – Jerry Baker ... Jerry was told he was a lowly contractor by a client. |
| "Traveling really fucks with my location." – Jeremy Keeler ... Getting his bearings in Orlando. |
| "Can I go have Christmas? Santa bring me Christmas?!" – Desmond ... Christmas morning when he was two. First thing he said when we got him out of bed. |
| "Address: 19939 Thompson Lane
Price: $479,000 Listed by: Ruth Scott MLS: 2307341 ... Custom built with rubber mold brick floors and interior walls Walk-in brick fireplace in vast living room Formal dining room ..." – Ruth Scott Realty website listing ... Hey, they make walk-in freezers... (thanks to Jerry H.) |
| "Daddy's screwing." – Desmond ... I was working on the front porch and Des was talking to Gramma Carol on the phone... |
| "We don't drink Pepsi, either; we do Coke." – The nice, jittery lady at my local grocery store |
| "Stupid TV!" – Desmond ... Wise beyond his years. |
| "No, moron! Go see a movie!" – Desmond |
| "Clock! Goes the weasel." – Desmond |
| "You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel." – A mondegreen someone passed on to me ... Right up there with "... with four hundred children and a crop in the field." |
| "Don't let that fly out of your nose." – Jerry Baker ... Once upon a time in that magical place called Palmdale. |
| "I know this house like the back of my heart." – Cooper |
| "... up a tree without a barrel." – Ellen ... What the hell was she thinking? |
| "My purse is about to throw up." – Abby ... We've all had days like that, I'm sure. |
| "Oh shit! You didn't have a drink." – Taco Bell drive-up window Belle |
| "Ingredients: Peanuts, Dry Roasted with Salt and Tapioca Dextrin. Produced in a facility that processes peanuts and other nuts." – Warning on the back of a Southwest Airlines "Byte-Sized Fares" dry roasted peanuts ... I sure hope my peanuts don't have any peanuts in 'em. |
| "Not a man or woman on here that didn't come from some place." – Some CNN doofus ... Talking about the occupants of some war ship they were doing a little story on. |
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