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| "Regular drink or die" – Sign in a convenience store along highway 138 south of Palmdale, California ... Just one little letter makes a big difference, but I don't know. Think I'd sooner die than drink diet, so maybe it wasn't a mistake, after all. |
| "Take the key and go east. Go east again." – An answer in a FAQ for a game called "Vinnie's Tomb." ... The questions are even dumber. |
| "There was no shortage of cleavage or sexy outfits in The Owl and the Pussycat, a comedy about a wannabe writer who works in a bookstore and a prostitute." – CNN review |
| "I can make it suck the way it's supposed to suck right out of the box." – Jerry Baker ... Talking about how wonderful a certain piece of DL-brand software is. And he's right. And talented. |
| "Ha ha! I lost!" – Tori ... I guess she was vying with Ellen for the lowest score in a game of Yahtzee. |
| "I bet I know why [Michael Jordan]'s getting back into basketball; he's getting low on money." – Tori ... I guess she's still much too innocent to know just how unfair life can be. |
| "Mom, what's postage? [pronounced like "hostage"]" – Abby ... I used to live with her. |
| "If you squeeze it in it still wants to see your buttons, so what does it do?" – Steve Hansen, Java instructor ... Talking about the behaviors of GUI layouts with Java. |
| "I need a place to park car. Outside is fine. A driveway is ideal or backyard. Thank God for America." – Trading Post |
| "God, I've gotten really good at this; I could be a baboon." – Mary Lee ... Could be? |
| "They're eating like weeds." – A proud parent we know ... (and laughing like hyenas) |
| "That's a nice place for a hole." – Tori |
| "I think I've got just about what I need to last an hour." – Tori |
| "The only reason he forgot is because he has trouble remembering." – Abby |
| "Is that wine in there you put?" – Me |
| "It's a viscous cycle." – Lawrence "Urinal" World |
| "Well the USPS has made this headache a painless one." – The USPS Mover's Guide |
| "...but the only prob is that it doesn't work... geez, even I could write a program that doesn't work." – From a review of a piece of software (not mine!) |
| "My biological name is 'Shaughnessy'..." – Random former-Shaughnessy ... I guess she was declaring her independence from the species Homo sapiens sapiens. |
| "I downloaded the correct installer, so I am clueless at this point." – Someone on a Palm users' group mailing list. |
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