function RandomBetween( Lo , Hi ) {
	var HiNum;
	var LoNum;
	if ( Lo < Hi ) {
		HiNum = Hi;
		LoNum = Lo;
	}
	else if ( Lo > Hi ) {
		HiNum = Lo;
		LoNum = Hi;
	}
	else if ( Lo == Hi ) {
		return Lo;
	}
	do {
		RndNbr = Math.round( Math.random() * 10 * HiNum );
	} while (( RndNbr > HiNum ) || ( RndNbr < LoNum ));
	return RndNbr;
}
function LoadImage() {
	eval( "document.images[1].src = \"images/homepage/_" + RandomBetween( 1 , 69 ) + ".jpg\"" );
//				eval( "document.images[0].alt = \"" + LastUpdate() + "\"" );
}
function Message() {
	var Messages = new Array;
	Messages[ 0] = "half of one, six dozen the other";
	Messages[ 1] = "giving it the 'ole vo-tech try";
	Messages[ 2] = "free cheap and easy";
	Messages[ 3] = "sphygmomanometer";
	Messages[ 4] = "paper or spastic";
	Messages[ 5] = "may contain peanuts";
	Messages[ 6] = "too much - clap clap - time on my hands";
	Messages[ 7] = "the dreams stuff is made of";
	Messages[ 8] = "if you're happy and you know it crap your pants";
	Messages[ 9] = "dictionaries are, by definition, definitions";
	Messages[10] = "cry-baby";
	Messages[11] = "the worn-out elastic in your undies";
	Messages[12] = "a monkey without his barrel";
	Messages[13] = "dorkin' things up";
	Messages[14] = "now open 24 hours";
	Messages[15] = "the one shoe in the middle of the street";
	Messages[16] = "you know you wanna";
	Messages[17] = "the rock in your shoe";
	Messages[18] = "signs point to yes";
	Messages[19] = "i just made that last part up";
	Messages[20] = "i don't believe in elvis";
	Messages[21] = "autobiography: the story of my life";
	Messages[22] = "wipe the seat";
	Messages[23] = "now you've done it";
	Messages[24] = "if I had your money I'd throw mine away";
	Messages[25] = "open for business";
	Messages[26] = "when life gives you lemons, bitch";
	Messages[27] = "climbing the corporate bladder";
	Messages[28] = "the best donut is a good enchilada";
	Messages[29] = "if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it... would this rash still itch?";
	Messages[30] = "the owls are not what they seem";
	Messages[31] = "not liking people is easy";
	Messages[32] = "sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a burning corpse";
	Messages[33] = "well you think it's butter, but it's snot";
	Messages[34] = "for everything else, there's breaking and entering";
	Messages[35] = "less than a cup of coffee";
	Messages[36] = "invigorating, yet timid";
	Messages[37] = "it's a dessert topping";
	Messages[38] = "it's a floor polish";
	Messages[39] = "seeing the glass as half-broken";
	Messages[40] = "it's a logic puzzle";
	Messages[41] = "one out of five dentists agree";
	Messages[42] = "there's always another sock";
	Messages[43] = "that's only because we don't have any money";
	Messages[44] = "mediocre at best";
	Messages[45] = "this guy's the limit";
	Messages[46] = "maybe tomorrow the good lord'll blow you away";
	Messages[47] = "i like the broken stuff";
	Messages[48] = "internet-ready";
	Messages[49] = "salmon I got to get degree <font color=\"662233\">-lotr</font>";
	Messages[50] = "giving it 37% most days";
	Messages[51] = "good clean fun since 2001";
	Messages[52] = "no job too high-paying";
	Messages[53] = "as desmond says, 'stick it'";
	Messages[54] = "this site best viewed with... your eyes";
	Messages[55] = "the other side of the road";
	Messages[56] = "if you can read this, you're too close";
	Messages[57] = "if I only had a dollar for every dollar I've had";
	Messages[58] = "move along; nothing to see here";
	Messages[59] = "if you don't have javascript enabled, you're not reading this";
	Messages[60] = "more pickles";
	Messages[61] = "how much is that window in the doggy";
	Messages[62] = "100% genuine";
	Messages[63] = "if you lived here you'd be home by now";
	Messages[64] = "the weather is here i wish you were beautiful <font color=\"663333\">-jb</font>"; // "
	Messages[65] = "otis... he chewed it up... bad dog"; // "
	Messages[66] = "lather, rinse, repeat";
	Messages[67] = "habeas porpoise... you have the dolphin";
	Messages[68] = "no loitering";
	Messages[69] = "fosters... australian for \"i'm too damn sober\"";
	Messages[70] = "segmentation violation";
	Messages[71] = "oh, that's just great"; // "
	Messages[72] = "just a pinch between the cheek and gums";
	Messages[73] = "platonic conjugal visit";
	Messages[74] = "nobel prize-fighter";
	Messages[75] = "pandora's box turtle";
	Messages[76] = "brain storm warning";
	Messages[77] = "f.k.a. tireswing.net";
	Messages[78] = "spice jar = thyme capsule";
	Messages[79] = "the new phone book's here! the new phone book's here!";
	Messages[80] = "pass the muster, please";
	Messages[81] = "the brain is an important learning tool, meatwad";
	Messages[82] = "i bet jeff conaway never has days like this";
	Messages[83] = "i gave up quitting things";
	Messages[84] = "don't read this";
	Messages[85] = "blather, rinse, repeat";
	Messages[86] = "you gonna eat that?";
	Messages[87] = "live life with no egrets";
	Messages[88] = "learn to be patient while you wait";
	Messages[89] = "exceeding all expectorations";
	Messages[90] = "silly rabbit! tricks are for prostitutes";
	Messages[91] = "you're soaking in it";
	Messages[92] = "free leonard peltier (limit one per household)";
	Messages[93] = "30 minutes or it's free";

	eval( "document.write( Messages[" + RandomBetween( 0 , Messages.length - 1 ) + "] );" );
}